


Purple

by VengefulHybrid



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Clones, M/M, selfcest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-05-04
Updated: 2011-05-04
Packaged: 2017-10-19 00:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/194685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VengefulHybrid/pseuds/VengefulHybrid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"Requesting Scout/Scout, but set in a 'universe' where the teams know that they're all just clones of one-another.<br/>Something like, sexually-pent-up Scout is scared as hell of doing anything gay, but really needs/wants something other than his right hand. Goes to ask himself on the other team about shagging, his logic being that if he's fucking himself then he isn't gay, just <i>seriously</i> narcissistic."</p><p>Well.</p><p>Also, I hate Scout accents, I really really do.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Purple

**Author's Note:**

> "Requesting Scout/Scout, but set in a 'universe' where the teams know that they're all just clones of one-another.  
> Something like, sexually-pent-up Scout is scared as hell of doing anything gay, but really needs/wants something other than his right hand. Goes to ask himself on the other team about shagging, his logic being that if he's fucking himself then he isn't gay, just _seriously_ narcissistic."
> 
> Well.
> 
> Also, I hate Scout accents, I really really do.

Oh he knew his Medic and Heavy were fucking (how could you not, Medic was _loud_ ) but that didn’t mean he could just waltz up to one of team mates and be all ‘hey do you wanna fuck ‘cause I’m getting’ real tired of my hand’ because that would be _gay_ and Scout wasn’t _gay_. So Scout started to think. Thinking wasn’t something he wasn’t exactly attributed to, he instead preferred to leave all the namby pamby logical stuff to the smartasses on his team (Medic, Engineer, Spy and surprisingly enough, Heavy). He thought so hard his head started to hurt. He wasn’t sure if any of his team were gay and by attribution neither were the enemy, them being themselves (now that just made his head hurt worse, best not to think about that) after all. He supposed if the other’s Medic wasn’t in a relationship with their Heavy he could go to him, but that was only a last resort because the man was a fucking psychopath. There was also the Heavy but he might get crushed under all those folds of fat he had. He was certain the Spies were gay (or bi at a push) because there was no way anyone could have that sort of accent and _not_ be gay dammit. But again they were freaks and both of them gave Scout funny looks that he was certain didn’t mean they wanted to screw him (and he didn’t want to be bottom anyway because that was _really_ gay).

Scout was staring out of his window, watching himself (stop thinking like that you’re going to get a headache) harass the other Engineer when an idea struck him like a twenty ton truck. Masturbating was alright (not to certain people, but again Scout doesn’t want to think along those lines) and it was basically having sex with yourself, so why doesn’t he just have sex with himself? It was the perfect plan, he liked looking at himself (he had a _great_ body, he thought) and he especially liked looking at himself when his skin was flushed with arousal and now he was getting horny dammit. He took one last look at himself before heading outside, grabbing his bat and ball on the way out (he needed some sort of excuse to interact with the BLU Scout after all).

Outside he called to the other Scout, not missing the Engineer’s look of relief as he jogged away from him.

“Ya wanna play a bit? ‘M bored.”

The Scout shrugged. “Sure why not.”

Together the two left the area between the two bases, hopping the fence with ease on their way to somewhere where the teams wouldn’t bother them about possibly breaking a window and to somewhere where he could jump the BLU Scout (with his question and quite possibly literally, with luck if the other saw it from his point of view) without anyone noticing. They walked in near silence until the BLU pointed out a good spot and they raced for it, hurling insults back and forward to each other, the two’s speed pretty much identical. The RED leapt on top of the predetermined finish rock, proclaiming his win loudly and profoundly and didn’t stop until the BLU had tackled him to the floor and punched him in the gut. They wrestled in the dust, yelling obscenities until the BLU had RED face down in the floor and his arm pulled up behind him shouting ‘Uncle, Uncle!’ until BLU relinquished his hold on RED’s arm.

“Goddamned asshole.” RED spat, sitting up in the dirt and glaring at BLU who was quite contentedly lounging on the rock.

“Ya woulda done da same thing.” He grinned.

RED scowled, that was a perfectly valid point BLU had, which just made him scowl even harder (and try not to look at how the man sprawled). RED got up, dusting himself off and collected his bat from where he’d dropped it when BLU had flying tackled him to the ground.

“So are we gonna play or not?” He asked, staring in the opposite direction of himself and towards the distant bases.

The BLU Scout made a noncommittal noise and turned over on his rock. “Don’t really feel like it.”

RED Scout grunted, tapping his bat absentmindedly against his leg, he thought about turning around and just coming out with his question, but then decided against it. He had to say something however and was opening his mouth to start when suddenly he found himself flat on his face again, the BLU Scout soundly pinning him to the floor.

“Ya know, I’ve been thinkin’.” He said, kneeling on RED Scout’s arms.

“Don’t hurt yaself.” RED chuckled, earning himself an elbow to the back of the head.

“Shut up fag.” The BLU snapped. “Ya know how we’re kind of da same person?”

“Yeah…” Was this going where he thought it was going? He hoped it was going where he thought it was going because goddamn was he getting horny.

“Well I was thinkin’…” BLU trailed off and RED resisted the urge to prompt him onwards, he knew how he’d react to that and he was sure his other self would react in the same way (clamming the fuck up). “If we fucked…it wouldn’t be gay, would it?”

He couldn’t believe his ears and he couldn’t stop the grin that broke out. It seemed great minds think alike after all (or fools seldom differ but that was another train of thought Scout halted).

“Nope.” He chuckled. “Ya gettin’ bored of ya hand too?”

The BLU snorted in laughter and climbed off of RED. “So how’re we gonna do dis?”

Scout’s mind stalled for a moment, he really hadn’t thought it out. Although he loved how forward he was. “I have no idea, man.”

The two Scouts sat there in the sand and dirt, one with his head in his hands and the other with his head on his arms. RED Scout sniffed and turned his head to stare at the BLU.

“How ‘bout we start wid, ya know, kissin’?” He said, fighting back a blush as much as he could.

“But that’s fuckin’ _gay_.” The BLU protested, earning himself RED’s best impression of the ‘disgruntled Engineer’ look.

RED grabbed him by his shirt collar, pulling him towards himself and planted his lips on the BLU’s. It was awkward at first. They both tried to do the same things at the same time, the two men fighting for dominance. Eventually, RED pushed his counterpart over and into the dust with a slight ‘oomph’ and both their hands tangled in each other’s shirt, pulling and twisting and wrenching the material away from their lithe bodies. Neither of them cared when they heard an awkward ripping noise for they were both too busy pulling each other out of their clothes. RED pulled back from the sloppy kiss, scanning the body (his identical double, _him!_ ) underneath him. Is this what _he_ looked like in the throes of passion, sweaty and flushed and preposterously gorgeous? He decided he did, seeing as the BLU underneath him was him in a roundabout way (You’re getting yourself confused again, stop that) and descended once more to lick and nibble at the other man’s neck. When the BLU suddenly arched upwards, clutching at RED’s arms, he made a note of that spot on his neck (not to use on himself) and started his way downwards, tonguing one of BLU’s nipples and occasionally dragging his teeth gently over it. Without warning he was pushed sideways, off of the BLU and straddled, but that was okay because there was now a hot, wet mouth descending on his cock and there was one in his face and it felt so damn good he didn’t care that he was grabbing it and sucking it because his legs were shaking slightly and those little groans coming from the BLU made him just that much harder. Or maybe they were his. Or maybe it just didn’t matter anymore, maybe nothing mattered anymore. Not the war, not the fact that they were _technically_ the same person nor that they were supposed to be enemies or that he was sucking another man ( _himself_ , shut up brain, he doesn’t need this right now) off. All that mattered was that he was coming harder and faster than he ever had from the use of his hand and so was the BLU and-

“Eurgh! Dat tastes rank, man!” They both shouted near simultaneously, spitting and wiping at their tongues.

About a mile away, one of Sniper’s lowered his rifle, a curious expression on his face.

“Now that’s an idea…”


End file.
